In a couple of weeks I will turn 50 yrs old. The number 50 doesn't bother me. Adding another 1 to my age is like adding another point to my score in the game of life. What does bother me is that I DON'T WANT TO GET OLD!!! That could seem contradictory to some people but it really isn't. Age is merely a way of keeping track of how long you have been wandering around this planet. But to me, old is when you stop doing things, stop having dreams, and stop truly living. It is to just hang around waiting to see if tomorrow is the end. Simply going through the motions of living; working, eating, sleeping, even marrying and raising kids but never slowing down to enjoy the now or look forward to the future, this isn't the life of a young person.
As I have mentioned, I am a nurse. I currently work in geriatrics but have dealt with every age group in my almost 20 years on the job. I have had young 90 year old patients and old 30 somethings. Being young means finding the joy in the everyday stuff, like my 93 yr old resident who puts her arms out and yells weeeee all the way down the hall when I push her wheelchair a little faster than is the norm. Her mind is as sharp as it was 50 yrs ago too, it isn't a matter of Alzheimer's or regression. It reminds her of her early years when she liked to drive fast. She's a Bingo fanatic and does puzzles and word games. She watches things on TV that you'd expect a teenager to watch. She is curious about everything despite all the years she's been on this earth. And most importantly she laughs, a lot. Her laughter is so joy filled and from the soul that it makes everyone around her happy even if it's only temporary. I envy her sometimes. I had another resident that on her birthdays would do something every year that she had never had the chance to do when she was younger. At 90 it was a hot air balloon ride, at 91 she did tandem sky diving and at 92 she rode on the back of a family member's bike in a motorcycle run. I moved away shortly after that but like to imagine she is still doing exciting things just for the heck of it.
I have had younger patients and even co-workers who despite being chronologically young have the mindset of the ancient. They worry all the time: will I find the right partner, will I get the job/promotion I want, should I have kids, it just goes on and on. As each step is completed, instead of relaxing and appreciating what they have achieved, they start worrying about the next step. They aren't happily planning their future or making goals for themselves, they are worrying about the next negative that will come along. I admit to having gone through some of this myself in the past. I was just lucky enough to be able to really look deep into my life and figure out what was going on and change it.
A lot of inspirational speakers will tell you that attitude is everything. Well, as a nurse I am sadly aware that it isn't. Health problems can certainly age you before your time. There are those who by no choice of their own cannot truly live yet their bodies keep going without them. I mourn for them. But for each of these people there are many others who, no matter how bad the medical issues are, continue to live a young life instead of giving up. In these cases attitude does make a major difference. Instead of worrying about the next test result they celebrate the latest improvement in their condition, however small. Should I ever find myself in such a situation, I hope to be able to emulate their strength of character and will.
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